For many women, becoming a single mother is by choice. If they’re ready, then they’ll do it. For them, “ready” could mean that their nurturing instincts are kicking in. They feel this sudden urge to care for another human life. It doesn’t matter that they don’t have partners yet. To them, having a partner in this journey is not necessary. As Monica once said on Friends, “I don’t need a man. Just a couple of his best ‘swimmers.’”
Becoming a mother is not an easy decision. But knowing more about it should help.
Deciding to Become a Mother
There are many things to consider first before choosing to become a single mother. And women also have to deal with the stigma of it. Data shows that about 70% of Americans believe that single mothers are bad for society. Many traditional folks believe that the nuclear family is still the standard.
But despite these opinions, women still choose on their own if they want to become mothers. They have to consider a lot of things first. They have to ensure that they are ready physically, mentally, and, most importantly, emotionally.
They must work through the anxieties of becoming a mother. They must set their minds to it and give themselves time to get used to the idea. They must also start thinking about their attitude and relationships toward children.
Apart from their minds’ and bodies’ readiness, women must also ensure first that they are financially stable to support a whole other human life. They must be ready to provide for years’ worth of food, clothing, shelter, tuition fees, hospital visits, and recreational activities.
After deciding that they are ready, they have to consider their options in becoming actual mothers. There are two significant ways for them. One is artificial insemination. The other is through adoption. Despite the different options, a lot of preparation happens for both of them.
Option #1: Artificial Insemination
When opting for artificial insemination, women conduct intense research. It’s not just about finding the right sperm donor. It’s also about finding the right sperm bank. If they’re very meticulous, they may even look into the manufacturers of laboratory incubators in such sperm banks. Although that might be a little too extreme already. But behind this obsessive research is the desire to ensure the trustworthiness of the clinic. They are literally creating life, after all.
The next thing that women have to consider is their own health. They need to have the approval first of doctors. This is to ensure successful pregnancies and childbirths.
Then, women have to consider their financial capacity. They have to shell out thousands of dollars for the insemination process. After that, they also have to consider the expenses of the pregnancy. It entails regular visits to the obstetrician-gynecologist and a diet of high-quality food. They also have to think about the hospital bills when they go into labor and give birth. After that, the real work begins as a mother. And that’s a costly affair as well. The diapers alone could leave quite a dent in the bank account.
Option #2: Adoption
Some women choose to adopt instead. They feel that it’s better to nurture a disadvantaged kid and give them a better life outside of an orphanage. For some, their choice to adopt is fueled by the sheer desire to help kids.
But they go through some similar things as women who choose artificial insemination. For one, women opting for adoption also have to conduct intense research. But in a different way. Their research entails looking up a child’s family background.
What matters the most is the life they give to the child. But it’s also important for them to know about their heritage. Women also have to look up a child’s medical history. This should help with health concerns that they should be on the lookout for.
Women opting for adoption also have to establish their financial capacity. Adopting children could cost them legal fees. But, more importantly, they need to prove to the judges that they are financially capable to sustain a child’s life. This should get their approval.
And the most important step that women take when preparing to adopt is getting to know the child first. They must cultivate a relationship first and build trust. This may not be crucial for infants orphans. But it’s important for older children.
It’s not easy for women when they decide to become mothers. They have a few boxes to tick off on the list of qualifications. It seems like an arduous task for such a personal matter. But it’s how it is. In the end, what matters is that women are ready to become mothers. The only thing that they have to ensure is that they and their children are healthy and happy.